My girlfriend left me, but I want her back?

In the start I was a leader, dominant, and decisive. As this long distance relationship of 1500 miles grew I started giving in, and became more affectionate and loving. (Some can say maybe insecure and jealous as well) The man I was in the beginning has significantly changed to an easily available, but jealous and controlling person.The past two months has been a living hell where she has been disrespectful and almost careless. Last night, I got in a fight with her on the phone and criticized her for her past relationship where she said she needed closure on her past. She explained that her ex always made her number 2 or 3 in his life, so I told her that she will never be happy because when she is put number 1 she loses attraction and when she is #2 or 3 she then becomes a little submissive. I threatened my own life out of depression and I sent her a goodbye text message.I sincerely screwed up, and dont know how to talk to her as she spent 2 hours telling me she luv me and not 2 do it.